Memories
One time I decided to spend a day at the North Texas food bank. Can’t imagine what I must’ve been thinking, some bs about being a good person or whatever. Don’t worry I so got over it. When you ‘volunteer’ at a place like this, you are mostly in the way. From the moment I arrived it was obvious that they set aside some basic tasks that I could screw up without getting in any of the real employee’s way. It was obvious in everything they did, and said that I was a tourist and was to be appeased. Take this giant vat of cans, and sort them by type into smaller bins. I was reminded of the task a small child is given when he wants to ‘help’ dad, and grandpa re-pave the driveway. It’s meaningless, harmless, but most importantly out of the way. Keep him busy for a while, he’ll get bored and move on to something else. This is exactly what people do at the food bank. You arrive all gung ho, gonna save the world one can at a time, and by 10 am. You are sweating your arse off, and you’re ready to call it a day. I just know that after we all left for the day, the employees would dump all the cans back into the big bin so tomorrow’s heroes could have something to do.
The worst part was the realization that I was no different than any other suburban douche bag who rolls up, realizes he’s contributing nothing, and then leaves by lunchtime. The workers there must’ve seen it a million times. No wonder they were less than impressed by my altruistic enthusiasum, and they weren’t terribly interested in learning my name.
Let the lameo sort some salad dressing bottles for a couple hours, and he’ll go away. I’m convinced a greater contribution can be made by staying away. If I didn’t go, they could save on administrative costs for the people who had to ‘train’ me for the 2 hours worth of work I did, they could save a fortune on liability insurance if they didn’t have to worry about tourists getting on the business end of a forklift.
Yep addition by subtraction is the way to go. This weekend I will kick back and relax in the knowledge that I’m helping by staying out of the way.
-Mother Teresa
The worst part was the realization that I was no different than any other suburban douche bag who rolls up, realizes he’s contributing nothing, and then leaves by lunchtime. The workers there must’ve seen it a million times. No wonder they were less than impressed by my altruistic enthusiasum, and they weren’t terribly interested in learning my name.
Let the lameo sort some salad dressing bottles for a couple hours, and he’ll go away. I’m convinced a greater contribution can be made by staying away. If I didn’t go, they could save on administrative costs for the people who had to ‘train’ me for the 2 hours worth of work I did, they could save a fortune on liability insurance if they didn’t have to worry about tourists getting on the business end of a forklift.
Yep addition by subtraction is the way to go. This weekend I will kick back and relax in the knowledge that I’m helping by staying out of the way.
-Mother Teresa
2 Comments:
1. Somethin somethin in a picture show
2. Yeah, it costs
3. More cigarettes
4. Charge food
There's some memories for ya.
on the show "How I met your mother" two of the people go work at the food line on a holiday. they find out that their buddy(unlikely sort) is the king of the food bank. totally the employee of the year and always there. of course it turns out that he was ordered there for community service. it was pretty funny. the one day a year volunteer is pretty much useless.
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